Monday, December 19, 2016
Santa at the Eye Doctor
This just in. The Associated Press and Huffington Post are reporting that late last night Santa came close to wrecking his sleigh. Evidently Rudolph's nose gave out and the sleigh hit a cell tower as it began a trial run out of Orlando.
There's no word on casualties yet, but Santa's entourage was able to limp along for some 75 miles before setting down on the Happy Trails horse farm just south of Ocala.
As this post went to press, one of our avid readers sent us the above photo. She spotted Santa at Ocala Eye getting his eyes checked. A source close to Santa said it was Santa's fault the sleigh hit the cell tower; his eyesight is getting worse. It's been at least 50 years since he's had his eyes checked.
We are happy to report, however, that all is well. Just a short time ago, a group of disaffected teen goths were swimming with the sharks at Silver Springs and they heard a cry from the sky, "Hi Yo, Silver! Away!"
Wait, that's not right! Oh oh.