Golden Pen Pals

This little canine was wearing a nice, gold necklace. I asked her where she got it, assuming it was a gift from her master or mistress. But no...

"I'll have you know," she said with just a touch of condescension, "it was a gift from Rin Tin Tin." Then she grinned, toothily.

"Oh, c'mon, Rin Tin Tin's been dead for years," I replied, backing away just in case she decided to punctuate this nonsense with a piece of my leg.

"Well, I guess I should explain. I'm a very old dog even though I don't look like it and many years ago, Rin Tin Tin and I became pen pals. I did a bit of commercial work and I'd see him on the set of one of his movies and we became good friends. Not long ago, I received this necklace in the mail from one of his descendants. Evidently, when his will was read, the executor of the will missed the paragraph where he gifted this to me.

"And he was a great jokester. Sometimes he would jump on top of actors in the middle of a sex scene and run away before anyone could catch him, barking happily the whole time." Then she stopped and put a paw up to her face, obviously in deep thought. "Damn that Rin Tin Tin! I'll bet this isn't gold at all. Look at it again."

So I did. "I'm sorry, my dear, but this is made of tin, and painted gold. I knew when I felt it that it wasn't real."

"Well, I'm not surprised, and I'm not angry. It's kinda nice just to think he thought of me before he died."

"How did he die" I asked.

"Exhaustion," she sighed. He jumped into the middle of so many sex scenes and had to run so fast and so far all that exertion finally caught up with him and his forepaws gave out and then his heart quit!"

"What are you going to do now?" I asked. "Well, I don't have a will, so I think that when I pass on and go to the Doggie's Happy Hounding Grounds, I'm going to get in touch with Lassie and we'll figure out a special trick to play on him." She stopped for a minute, then her eyes lit up,

"I've got it!", she exclaimed. "Rin Tin Tin hates tin! Something to do with his name, I suppose. That's why if the woman in a sex scene was wearing a gold necklace or bracelet he'd rip it off and carry it home and put it in a special hideout, an old Spam can. He knew no self-respecting dog or human would eat or even look in an old Spam can! And the woman, so involved in the sex scene and so surprised by Rinnie (that's what we called him) jumping on her that she never realized her precious jewelry was missing!"

"So, I'm going to ask Lassie to make a very special, one-of-a-kind post-humous lifetime gold achievement award using this necklace. Lassie loves to do that kind of stuff. Then we'll invite all the heavenly dogs to come to a big party in his honor and we'll have a true hero, a service dog, present him with the award.

"When he waddles up to get his award, we'll all start barking 'It's not gold, it's 'tin, it's tin, it's tin, Rin Tin Tin!' That will just curl his tail and he'll crawl to the back kennels (which are still pretty heavenly) and he'll mope for an hour or two, but some little pup will ask him to come out and chase balls and he's not very bright, so he'll come bounding out, his award in his teeth, barking 'Tin is gold, tin is gold, I'm tin, Rin Tin Tin, and I'm as good as gold'"

"Thank you for this scenario." I shook the little dog's paw. "You are truly delusional.  So even though it's a good story I'm going to have to check it out the next time I see a Golden Retriever."